Life

Rewind…Fast Forward… Now What…

REWIND:

About 7 years ago I graduated from high school with the plan to never attend college. At 18 I was over education and thought I was invisible.  6 months later I was bored with my everyday life and had a random desire to head back to school. So with that I enrolled myself in community college and started taking the basic math and english courses.  Add another year and I was transferring to a community college in California and narrowing down my ideas for a major. Add 6 months and I had decided on a Business degree. Another year later I was changing my degree focus to Marketing and 6 months later changing it to Communication.  Insert one year and its 2011 and I’ve finished the course work for 3 Associates Degrees and am being told its time I transferred to a State or University school to achieve my bachelors degree. Fall 2012 arrives and I’m sitting in a classroom at San Francisco State University pursuing my communication degree.

FAST FORWARD:

It’s May 8th 2014, I have exactly three more days of school left to attend, and one final exam to take before I graduate from San Francisco State University. With a degree in the Study of Communication. I am stressed and anxious. My senioritis has hit in full force. My attention is lost. My drive for education seems to have dissipated. I just want it to be over. The end is so near but it seems so far away.

Well NOW what:

It’s the same question day in and day out. Everyone I talk to wants to know what my plans are for after graduation. Well at this point my plans are to celebrate. That’s right. I’m going to rejoice in the fact that after 7 years I have completed and achieved 3 Associates and 1 Bachelors degrees. I have worked my ass off in doing so.  I have struggled through 40+ hour work weeks, alongside 16 hours of school in those weeks, and endless amounts of homework.  I have sacrificed relationships, jobs, friendship, experiences, and my life for my education. I have racked a serious amount of student debt, I have lost focus on my health and body image.  But most of all:

I have GAINED! I have GROWN! I have LEARNED!

I’ve had different experiences, relationships, jobs, friendships and a different life. With all that I have sacrificed, I have gained. I have grown. I have learned. And it is with that, that I can now celebrate. I can celebrate the last 7 years. I can celebrate the struggles, the joy, the fear, the pain, the love, the old, the new, the experiences, the knowledge, the growth, the understanding.

I can celebrate ME!

I wouldn’t be the women, person, figure, image, imagination, child, sister, daughter, friend, enemy, lover, hater, that I am today.  I would be that same high school graduate that I was. That girl I look back at and shake my head at.  That girl who had crazy dreams. That girl who was lost in her own world. That girl that I didn’t want to be for the rest of my life.

SO YA: 

To answer everyone and anyone. I am going to celebrate my accomplishments. I am going to celebrate who I am, what I have learned, my experiences, the person I have become.

I am going to celebrate CHRISTINA!

 

 

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101 in 1001, Life, Love

Pain. Fear. Love.

The past few months life just hasn’t been the same. I’ve found who I really am, I’ve fallen in love with someone I never thought I could love. Ive become vulnerable to pain again. I’ve put my self in a place where I can be hurt again, where my world could instantly fall to pieces but I’m the happiest I think I have ever been.

Loving someone is hard, letting someone into my life to love me is even harder. I fear rejection, I fear pain and by letting someone into my life, into a level of such an emotional state I let down the walls that barricade the possibilities for rejection and pain.

I know things are different, they have to be. My feelings make that apparent. She has become my everything!

I thought she would just be another one of my phases. A phase of trying to find my sexuality, trying to find who I can be, who I want to be. To me, being with a girl has always been so taboo. I’ve enjoyed every moment I’ve ever had with women but always thought I’d have to be with a man, I’d have to do right by my family. Until I met her.

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The minute she introduced herself to my I was hooked. That smile of hers melted my heart. Her demeanor, her strength, her wit all drew me in. I found myself always longing to hang out with her. Every chance I had to flirt with her, just talk to her, or just plain be around her, I would jump at the opportunity.

Becoming her friend was all I could do, all I knew I should do, the only thing I was going to allow myself to do. Becoming her friend was perfect, she was the friend I needed, someone I connected with so well.

I got to know her for who she was. I wasn’t like the other girls. She didn’t put up a front, she told me everything, she let me into her life, who she was, what she loved and hated about herself, what she wanted in life. And with everything I learned about her my heart started to swell. The typical me after hearing about her past, who she was, what she hated about herself would have ran for the hills. I typically would have stayed far far away from this girl. This girl who would break me, would hurt me, would cause me so much pain. But, I just couldn’t seem to shake her.

I still can’t shake her! I won’t shake her. I want her around. I want her around forever. Forever… such a huge infinite word, but seriously I don’t want “this” to change. This girl has changed my world, this girl has become my world.

Thinking about how much I love her is painful. It brings tears to my eyes. But it’s a pain you only feel when you’re in love and the tears are tears of joy.

Her warm embrace, her sweet kisses, her laugh, her smell, her beauty, her strength, her passions, her, her, her… I’m in love with her, everything about her.

I don’t know what our future holds for us. What I do know is that our present is near perfect. I hope that our future continues down this perfect path. I hope my love for her only grows never fades. I hope that she loves me the way I love her, and that her love never fades. I hope she’ll continue to be mine for forever. Yes I said it “forever!”

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Life, Monday Inspiration

It’s been 2 Years!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BLOG

 

Happy Birthday LMLAIKI! These past two years have been wonderful. We have been off and on and off again but this year is looking up for us. I’m ready to dive into our second year of life at full force. So loves, stay tuned because things should only get better. Oh and the lack of posting should soon be fixed.

Have a cupcake or two for us!

xoxo – 

Christy 

 

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Life, Love, Monday Inspiration

Back to the Blogsphere

Hello Lovelies and Happy Monday –

I’d like to make an announcement… I’m back… to the blog sphere! Okay, Okay, ya I was never really gone. I just took a little bit of a break. It was a much-needed break and I feel very much so refreshed and ready to be back in contact with all of you.

While I was on hiatus from the blog, I happened to also be on break from school. While on break I spent a lot of time working and lots of time with the new love* in my life!

Here are a few photos to give you a bit of a catch up on my life these past two months:

I hit the slopes.. It was all ice but still fun

I hit the slopes.. It was all ice but still fun

Making memories w/new friends

Making memories w/new friends

New hair cut

New hair cut

Puppy love - Lets introduce Louie

Puppy love – Lets introduce Louie

New Years with the Ladies

New Years with the Ladies

New Years Drinks

New Years Drinks

PJ Dance party

PJ Dance party

Cirque Du Soleil - Xmas gift to my love

Cirque Du Soleil – Xmas gift to my love

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Went sliding down cement slides

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Family photo

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Pool with the boo!

Best sign I saw this break - entrance to a bar

Best sign I saw this break – entrance to a bar

Celebration of finishing my semester

Celebration of finishing my semester

As you can see I stayed pretty busy and had a pretty darn good time.

//

Stay tuned as I will be back to blogging on a regular basis. Next up in the que is about Graduation struggles!

xoxo my loves 

Christy

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Adventure Wednesday's, Life, Love

Happy Holidays

Merry

The holiday season is one of my favorites. I love the decorations, the time spent with those close to you, and the love and joy that is shared by all, to name just a few things.

This holiday season for me its a little bittersweet as all of my family is in different states this year.  The sweet part of the”bittersweetness” is this year I will get to spend the holidays with someone I do love and that makes me very happy.

Jax and Me

I hope everyone this holiday season gets to spend time with the ones they love. Family and friends are what make the world go round.

Wishing you all Happy Holidays and to all my family and friends;

A Very MERRY Christmas 

xoxo- Christy 

 

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Monday Inspiration

Monday Inspiration: Glad you are alive!

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Today this quote just hits me.  After spending a wonderful couple days with the main squeeze and then catching up with one of my closest friends tonight, the thought of how happy both these people make me is a great reason to why I am glad to be alive.

On another note, this also leads into a post soon to come: Why should you be alive?

– Christy

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